Can't Shake This Feeling
by AvidDavidCookFan
Summary: In the summer of 2006, Bartender and musician David Cook met the love of his life and lost her. Will he be able to fix everything? Or will it be too late?
1. Prologue

I can't shake this feeling (DC/OC)

Three years. That's how long it had been since I'd seen him. I could still remember everything; the plaid shirts he liked to wear, the way his hair fell so perfectly across his forehead, his endearing crooked grin. But the thing I remember most is the way it felt when he held me. Our time together was short, but we promised we would never forget it. The day I left Tulsa would be forever engraved in my mind as the worst day of my life. I remember driving back to Colorado, my eyes clouded with tears, and I remember thinking that if I didn't stop crying I would never make it back.

At least not alive.

I remember the emptiness I felt in the days that followed. I was alone, tangled in a web of depression that I desperately hoped would loosen its grip on me. Until that moment happened, nothing could make it better. I contemplated going back, but never followed through. That would only make me look desperate. Then one day, everything changed. Finally, I knew what to do. I had to tell myself that I was never going to see David Roland Cook again.


	2. Chapter One

Chapter 1

The days that followed my proclamation were not my proudest. I was just thankful no one was here to see me this way. Three days had passed, and I had not contacted anyone, done any household chores. or...showered.

"Get ahold of yourself Mandi. You're being stupid and childish. He never loved you. He NEVER did." I didn't want to believe the words my heart was screaming at me. There was no way one could be as sincere and genuine as David was, unless he was just faking it. People fake smiles, laughter, and sincerity more often than they should, but can they fake the sparkle in their own eyes? If it were possible, then maybe he did it. I just don't think you can do something like that unless you're that heartless. I noted his sparkle the first time we met, and I remembered now how it never changed. My mind drifted back to the first moment I saw him...

I was in Tulsa, for no apparent reason whatsoever. I've always been the kind of person that would pack a bag and drive to the middle of nowhere when I got bored with my surroundings, which, I might add, was more often than it should have been. I walked downtown, looking for something beautiful that would catch my eye. Instead, I was drawn to an old, run-down building, music permeating the walls inside and out. I stood at the doorway, watching the people inside. Once I realized where I was, I wrinkled my nose in disgust. It was a bar. I never cared for these places, but I liked what I heard inside this one. Taking a breath, I walked into the place, my eyes zeroed in on the source of the music. I had a feeling I had gotten here too late, because it looked like he was finished playing. The words that followed confirmed my suspicion.

"You guys have been great, thank you! See you next week!" The crowd cheered in response. I watched him as he threw his guitar over his shoulder and walked off the small stage, stopping every so often to talk to the bar's usual inhabitors. Nearly mesmerized, I continued to watch him, when his gaze suddenly locked with my eyes. He walked over to me, smiling.

"Hey! I don't think I've seen you here before."

"I've never been. This is my first time in the city."

"Oh...what brings you here?"

"I'm not really sure yet. I got bored with where I live and wanted to try something different."

"Where are you from?"

"Colorado"

"Okay. Let me see if I get this. You're from arguably one of the most beautiful states in the country, and you got bored with it, so you came here."

"That's right."

"How could you get bored there?"

"It's pretty easy to do when you don't ski, hike, mountain climb, or anything like that. That's pretty much all there is to do there."

"I see."

"Yeah. Changing the subject, I'm sad that I missed your set...that's that drew me here in the first place."

"I was going to ask you what a girl like you-"

"- Was doing in a place like this. Yeah."

"How are you so sure that's what I was going to say?"

"I know that's what you were going to say because, how else can you finish that line?"

"Very true. Well, miss Smarty Pants, since you know everything about me, what's my name?"

"That's something you'll have to tell me" I smiled, unable to take my eyes off of him.

"So you don't know everything? That's a shame. I would have loved to say that I'm here with the smartest girl in the world."

"You can still say it. You could say it about any girl, really."

"Is that right? I'll take your word for it then. My name is David, by the way."

"Nice to meet you, David. I'm Mandi."


	3. Chapter Two

Chapter 2

I can still feel it...she's only a memory, but I can still feel her short, wispy blonde hair tickling my cheek as if she were right here. But, a second later I open my eyes, and all I see is darkness. How could I let her go like that, make her think I never cared at all? I'm a damn fool, thats how. I wonder how she's doing? Has she found someone who would give her the happiness that I never could? Or...could it be that I didn't want to? I'd always considered myself to be in love with my music, but it can never compare to the love of a woman. Lyric sheets can't hold you, and guitar strings can't tell you that they love you. Not like she did, anyway. I begged my frantic, tired mind to shut up, to stop reminding me of her, so I could sleep peacefully. My eyes fluttered closed and in that instant, I was back in that moment, on that night.

"David?"

"Hmm?"

"I just wanted to tell you something..." she giggled.

"Well" I shifted my weight to turn towards her. "Are you going to tell me, or do I have to guess?"

"You didn't let me finish. I wanted to tell you something but I don't know if this is the right time. I'm just scared I might regret it..."

"Regret it if you say it?"

"I don't know. I might regret it if I don't."

"You can trust me, Mandi. No matter what it is."

"Really?"

"Yes." I remember how scared she looked, and reflecting back, I sort of knew what she would say without saying it. I knew it in the way she looked at me, as if she were looking for the door to my soul. I had only known her for a month, and I was ready to give her the key.

"I...think I might be falling for you." After she spoke those words, she sighed and gazed up at the sky, connecting the stars to make pictures, just as she had done every night.

"I kind of expected that, to be honest."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I could tell in the way you look at me." She sighed again, making me chuckle.

"My parents always said I had expressive eyes."

"You do." I gazed intently at her, watching her blue-grey eyes twinkle beneath the moonlight. Feeling gutsy, I inched closer to her, and I could feel her breath stiffen in her chest.

"When you fell," I whispered, "You might have tripped me."


	4. Chapter Three

Chapter 3

(Andy Skib's POV)

I have never seen David like this. He hasn't slept, he barely eats, and when we do shows in bars, he comes home alone. This is not like him. I need to get him back...

A sudden crash from the kitchen brought me back to reality. I walked in, immediately shaking my head at the sight before me. David had every dish we owned in front of him, and I watched as he dropped them, one by one.

"David, what are you doing?"

"What's it look like?"

"It looks like you're destroying everything we own."

"Yes" he sighed, "I am." He picked up a plate, but before he could smash it, I snatched it from his hand."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because, Andy, I destroy things. It's what I do."

"Is this about..."David cut me off,

"Don't say her name."

"I'm sorry, man. This is why you don't get attached. You'll only get hurt."

"You've got it wrong, Andy. I hurt her."

"That's exactly what I mean" I sighed. "Want to talk about it?"

"I hurt her, Andy. I didn't want to, but it happened. I wanted her to stay..."

I watched the strongest man I knew crumble before my eyes, and I hated to see him so weak. I knew nothing I could say would fix this, whatever it was. I could try to tell him that musicians never stay with the same person for too long, but I might lose my head for that.

"David, she's been gone for a month. It's not like you to be so depressed over a girl. Are you ever going to move on?"

"I miss her. I miss the way her hair fell into her eyes, the way the room lit up when she smiled, the dreams she had for herself and the world, and the way she made me believe that those dreams could be mine..." He became completely silent then, and I left him to his thoughts. This girl had changed him, and it was kind of nice to finally see him...in love. 


	5. Chapter Four

Chapter 4

(David's POV)

And the loser of the year award goes to...guess who? If you said me, you win. I miss her, but Andy said it's for the best. I nearly killed him for it, but he could be right. I should have known better than to break the "musician's code". What is that, you ask? It's a set of rules that some idiot came up with, aided by his friend Jose Cuervo. The rules are as follows:

-Find the hottest girl in the bar, possibly the drunkest.

- If she's not drunk enough to leave with you, change that.

-No hooking up with the same girl two nights in a row

And finally...

-NO falling in love with your catch of the night.

You'd think that one night with someone wouldn't be near enough time to fall in love anyway, right?

Wrong.

I fell head over heels for her...and the weirdest part about it was, we never hooked up. We just hung out. I did kiss her once, but it meant more than you would think. All those days we spent out by the lake feeding ducks, laughing at squirrels and watching families together made me realize something. Mandi had changed me, then that stupid night ruined it all. That's something I don't want to talk about at the moment.

I wondered everyday how she was. If she was anything like me right now, I would feel sorry for her. I wouldn't wish this dark, lonely emptiness on anyone. I sat on the couch, a pen in one hand, notebook resting on my lap. I thought maybe if I could put my feelings, any feelings, into words it might help me get past this slump I had fallen into. Then it hit me.

I could write a song for Mandi, and if I ever became famous it could be my first radio single and maybe she would hear it. Then she would know how I felt about her. I scribbled some lyrics onto the paper, stopped writing, and allowed my eyes to scan over the words that were staring back up at me. I nodded to myself, and continued to write. Once I was satisfied, I thought about what I needed to do next.

"I have to get her back."

(Mandi's POV)

I miss him everyday. You wouldn't think so from the way I acted that night, but it's the truth. I never even let him explain. Just thinking about that moment made me cringe. Now, it wasn't so much what he had done, but what I did. I wonder if he's talked about it with anyone. I know I haven't. At least he has people he can talk to. Everyone I've known is gone. My parents died in a car accident when I was 19, so I've been on my own since then. I had sort of been planning to move out soon anyway, but I didn't expect it to be under those terms.

I didn't mind being alone. I was an only child, and at first I kind of resented my parents for that. Now, I'm fine with it. I've found that it's easier to get through everyday when you don't have to worry about who you can trust and who you can't. I remember the night I told David all of this.

"So, your parents died...I'm so sorry. Do you have siblings?"

"Nope. They didn't even get me a dog" I giggled. He laughed with me, then continued asking questions.

"Do you have anyone back home? I mean, like family?"

"No" I sighed. "Both sets of Grandparents died when I was young and my other family, Aunts and Uncles, you know, live across the country. I didn't want to leave Colorado, so I decided to live on my own. I was already planning on moving out anyway."

"I see. I really am sorry that happened to you...I don't like it when people I love die."

"Why? I think everything after death is peaceful, beautiful and without pain. What do you think happens to people when they die?"

"I don't know. I guess that's what I'm scared of."

"I believe that if you know Jesus, you have nothing to be scared of when your time here is over."

"I don't know about that. I have a hard time believing in something you can't see" David replied, stretching. A smile slid across his face, so I could tell that I wasn't scaring him away.

"Lots of people are like that, David. All you need is faith."

Coming back to my present reality, I smiled for the first time since I had left Tulsa. After spending so much time depressed, I had finally come out of the fog. I realized that if God could forgive me for all of the terrible, selfish things I had done in my life, I should find it in my heart to forgive David.

"I have to go back."


	6. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

(Mandi's POV)

After fighing my thoughts for around an hour, I threw a few things into a bag, nearly ran out to my car, and threw myself behind the steering wheel. I sat for a minute, wondering if I should really be doing this. What if he had someone else already? What if he wouldn't want to see me? Or worse...wait, there was nothing worse than that. If he didn't want to see me, it's clearly what I had coming. I wouldn't even let him explain...

FLASHBACK

We were sitting in the bar (yes, he actually convinced me to go), talking, laughing, having a great time. He told me he'd be back in a minute, then got up to get us more drinks. I watched him carefully, admiring his every move. Then, the nightmare started. Not even two minutes after he got up there, a tall, slinky woman drunkenly staggered up to him.

"Hey there handsome" she slurred. "You here alone?"

"No."

"Think she'd miss you if you left with me?"

"Are you kidding me?"

"Are you saying you don't find me attractive?"

"You're very pretty, but I told you I'm here with someone else."

"I've seen you here before, I know you're a musician, so isn't that against your code?"

"That "code" is crap. I think you should go home and sleep off all that liquor. Would you like me to call you a cab?"

"Call me? sure!"

"That's not what I said. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to my date." I watched as he tried to escape the liquored up vixen, and was shocked at the event that followed. She slid in front of him, grabbed onto his head and kissed him passionately. The worst part? He didn't fight back. I didn't know what else to do, so I got up and walked out the door. I wasn't even halfway down the sidewalk before I heard frantic footsteps behind me.

"Mandi! Mandi?" I stopped, not turning to face him so he wouldn't see the tears welling up in my eyes. "Please look at me..."

"I can't, David."

"She was drunk, it wasn't my-"

"I don't want to hear it. How could you let her do that? Don't I mean anything to you? Or did you decide to follow your stupid 'code'?"

"You mean the world to me...I really didn't know she was going to do that."

"Save it. I'm going back home tommorow."

"Why?"

"I don't want to make you commit to me, because I think you deserve better."

"Where is this coming from. Mandi?"

"I've always thought that. I don't want to hold you back from living your life anymore so I'm leaving."

"Will you come back?"

"I don't know."

(REALITY)

I never let him explain. But now, I think it's been long enough. I need to go back and hear him out. Inhaling deeply, I turned the key and backed out of the driveway. After what seemed like weeks, I finally arrived at the Oklahoma border. My mind went into autopilot, and I let it wander as I drove.

After a couple more hours, I spotted the road sign for Tulsa in the distance. There was no turning back now. I had left late at night, so it was about mid-afternoon when I got there. I wondered what to do first: Check into a hotel, or just go find David. Option two won, so I drove around the city, thinking of where he might be. I spotted the bar, and parked to the side, running in.

"Can I help you, miss?"

"Is David...Cook here? Has he been here?"

"Not for a few weeks."

"Oh, well, do you know where else he might be?"

"Try the park"

"Okay, I will. And if he comes in, can you tell him Mandi was here?"

"Sure can. I hope you find him."

"Me too. Thank you!" I turned, ran out the door, and suddenly plowed into someone.

"Oh, my God. I am so sorry. Are you...ANDY!"

"I'm fine" he chuckled. "And yes, I am Andy." He stood up, brushing the sidewalk dust off his clothes, and finally made eye contact with his assaultor.

"Y...y...you're...Mandi, right?"

"You remember?"

"David's Mandi."

"I used to be, but probably not anymore. Have you seen him lately?"

"I live with him."

"Oh, I knew that. Sorry. How is he?"

"You mean besides unbearably miserable and pathetic?"

"Are there any other options?" I sighed.

"Not really."

"Well, do you know why he's like that?"

"Something to do with a girl."

"Yes. It's my fault, and I came back to fix it." Andy looked confused, so I began to explain the situation to him.

"Oh. I had no idea, he wouldn't talk to anyone about it." Andy and I walked to the park, talking about everything that had happened, and just catching up in general. Midway through our conversation, his phone rand.

"It's him" Andy smiled. He answered, and I frantically mouthed the words 'don't tell him I'm here yet'. He nodded, and continued talking to David.

"Yeah, I'll be home soon. Do you need me to get you anything?"

"Not unless you want to drive to Colorado, find Mandi and bring her back here."

"I'll see what I can do, man. I gotta let you go, though. Signal isn't very good right here." He hung up, then turned to me.

"I have an idea."


End file.
